Let's mix things up. Last post was about me pulling a Dr. Phil for a friend in need, and you all read that. Well, this time I had a Dr. Phil experience of my own, in a manner of speaking.
So last week was crazy because of how many papers I had due. This week is actually going to be the same, but I can honestly say it's great to be busy because then you realize what your priorities are. Even in spite of having so much to do and places to go, I made time (or rather, procrastinated some things to make time) to spend time with some girls that I got to know more as the week went on. At first it was a big "get the whole apartment together" type of deal, so I didn't think much of it. They are fun people and I would've spent time with them regardless, but of course, nothing ever stays this same and this was no exception. I, most joyfully (trust me, it was VERY joyful) soon found myself on the receiving end of text messages and phone calls from these girls inviting me to watch movies, go places and go out to eat with them. The more I spent time with them, the more that I grew to admire these girls and appreciate the fact that they kept going so far out of their way to invite me out to do things.
Sure, I'm a social creature, but it's one thing to be just one of the crowd and another thing altogether when you are singled out to be invited to things. It makes someone feel special when they call you by name and they tell you things like "tell us a story" or "we love talking to you". If that's not something that makes you feel like you are good enough, in spite of your weakness, then nothing is. Heavenly Father loves His children, and the goodness of these girls is proof of that.
Anyway, so we did a bunch of things together, and suddenly I found myself enthralled by one girl in particular. Twitterpated, if you will. I am capable, just like any other guy, of recognizing when a girl is attractive in a heartbeat, but I've never been the kind that is hormonal and goes ga-ga over a girl because of her looks. Looks can only take someone so far, and quality of character is what pulls me in and keeps me enthralled. Obviously I'm quite direct when it comes to telling people what I think about relationships, their problems, my own weaknesses, etc, but that just makes the contrast between the way I normally am and how I act when I'm twitterpated that much more noticeable.
I have a hard time asking girls for their phone numbers (so I never do it) and even more so, I become paralyzed and massively bashful when I make the decision to ask a girl out on a date. Such was the case this weekend...I was going to do it on Sunday, but I felt so embarrassed for myself and I was really worried that I would embarrass this girl if I did it in front of other people, since that's the worst thing I could do to her. So then, with some help from her roommates I was able to formulate my plan of attack. I decided I would ask her on Monday night. I was terrified that I would either get shot down (this girl has the personality and looks to shoot down any guy she pleases) or that another guy would ask her out before I did, so that scared me into action. I am so grateful for her roommates for their kindness and patience, because I felt like I acted so childish, but hey, I was twitterpated. What else was I supposed to do?
Well, be a man, for one.
So anyway, I made sure I went for the gold yesterday. I have noticed that I clam up around girls that I am attracted to--meaning, I don't usually talk to them. Not because I don't want to talk to them, but instead because I'm terrified that I'll say something stupid since when you are twitterpated, your mind goes out the window and you end up having the mental capacity of a rock. You all know what it feels like to be enthralled by someone, so don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about.
So yes, I went for the gold. Mission accomplished. I feel like I got more than a gold medal, a gold star, or anything like that. I ask girls out so rarely that having done it and not getting shot down made me feel like I just won every single gold medal in every single Olympic event. I don't believe in pity dates, so if I ask out a girl it is a huge deal. I can probably count on two hands the number of dates I've initiated since I came back from my mission (maybe even just one hand). The girl has to be exceptional for me to notice her and muster up the courage to act. And this girl is just that, seeing as how it only took a few days of being near her for me to decide to take the plunge.
Of course, now comes the hard part....figuring out what to do for the date! I can't afford to screw this up, she is too good.
Even with his success, Michael Phelps never had it as good as I do.
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