All the questions submitted over the past week will be answered tomorrow morning. Sorry for the wait- you can thank finals for that.
Anyway, here's the text of what I wrote back to her. All I got was the heading and the numbered list- I filled in the rest while I was at work a few weeks back. I thought the picture below was a fitting visual for what I wrote- maybe that can help you understand my old-fashioned mentality).
Can guys act more chivalrous than this?
I submit that they cannot.
(It might seem weird, pointless, and outdated, but you have to admit- it's classy)
Dating Tips:
1. Give your significant other your full attention. Don't be checking out other girls/guys. They are your boyfriend/girlfriend for a reason, so show it.
2. Express your love for your significant other in any way possible, and do it often. These include words of affirmation (support, gratitude, love), gifts, spending quality time together, acts of service and physical touch. The point of a relationship is to become your very best self with the help of another, and anyone who masters these five methods will make not only a great spouse but also an amazing parent.
3. COMMUNICATE! A relationship will never start without honest, sincere communication, and most relationships end because of a lack of communication. Communicate your rules and your boundaries to your significant other so there is no doubt about where either of you stand, and how you can help each other improve.
Dating Pros:
1. You learn the type of commitment and communication that is required in a marital relationship when you are dating exclusively. Not to mention, you recognize the qualities you want in a future spouse.
2. You learn humility! You shed the attitude of "I can do everything" and learn to rely on the strengths of your significant other to help you recognize your weaknesses and convert them into strengths.
3. You learn to have unconditional love for someone else. To be your best self, you must learn how to give of yourself to others and be consistent. You learn to be a good listener and put the needs of another first before your own.
Dating Cons:
1. Potential for heartbreak is there. Then again, anything in life that's worthwhile involves risk.
2. More time/money/effort required for the relationship to work. Again, anything worthwhile in life requires some measure of sacrifice.
3. Stress in a relationship can affect every other aspect of your life: work, school, family relationships, etc. Which makes it that much more important to not throw in the towel and put in your share of the effort.
Hanging out Tips
1. Act natural. Even in a group setting, your behavior should reflect the person you are, not an imaginary shell.
2. Be social. Even in a group setting, you need to take some measure of initiative in meeting people and building friendships. This includes initiating activities and conversations with a variety of different people.
3. If someone catches your eye, ask them out. Plain and simple. Time is of the essence, and if you wait too long, someone else is bound to claim them as their own.
Hanging out Pros:
1. You get to see how people act when they are in groups (you can contrast this to how they act one-on-one)
2. Excellent way to meet new people (provided that people outside of your established circle of friends invite people you don't know, of course)
3. Can be enjoyed by just about anyone, since the amount of time, money or effort you have to dedicate are minimal
Hanging out Cons:
1. Since everyone is a "free agent", any guy or girl can develop interest for someone you have your eye on. There's not much you can do about that.
2. Hanging out can become a hindrance to accepting the responsibilities of marriage and family life (because it becomes more convenient to avoid commitment), if taken to the extreme.
3. Can lead to frustration if one person wishes that someone in the group would ask them on a date (especially girls) instead of just hanging out all the time.
Dating Etiquette Advice
1. Guys: open doors, pull out chairs, be a gentleman; Girls: EXPECT chivalry from your date and let him do these things. Guys don't doubt that you can do these things on your own, but it makes them be more conscious of you and whether or not you are having an enjoyable time. You are a queen: expect to be treated as such. Any guy that can't treat you correctly while dating will most definitely not treat you like you deserve when you are married either.
2. Look sharp! When you dress to impress, it speaks volumes about you. You don't have to wear a suit or dress on every date, but being well-groomed and looking good always leaves a good impression regardless of your choice of attire.
3. Guys: get the girl home at a reasonable hour (not too late). It shows consideration for her time and allows you end the date on a high note. Otherwise your date may get frustrated or tired since the date keeps dragging on. Girls: many guys don’t understand this concept, so make it a point to address the time issue at the beginning of the date, not ten minutes before you need to go home.
What is a respectful way reject a [first] date?
-Tell them you appreciate their time but that you're simply not interested. You don't want to give off the vibe that you can be "won over" with phrases like "we can still be friends/hang out/etc" because otherwise they will be persistent and keep asking you out. Be direct, but be kind in conveying how you actually feel, without sugar-coating the situation. People take rejection much better when it's given in a way that isn't vague…otherwise the situation drags on longer than it needs to and people end up getting their emotions hurt.
What are proper social skills to have on a date?
- Be willing to talk- the other person is just as nervous as you, so help everything go more smoothly by not allowing the conversation to become one-sided. No one wants to feel like they are interrogating or being interrogated, so this requires both parties to make an effort to have a meaningful conversation.
- Along with being conversational, turn off the cell phone! Your date deserves your total attention, and they have made time to be with you so be considerate of their time and effort. Texting during the date is poisonous- annoying at best, insulting at its worst. It's a no-win situation, so just don't do it.
- Go with a plan. If it is not planned, it's not a date. Show the person you are on the date with that they were worthy of prior planning- it will make them feel special and make the date that much more enjoyable.
What is your biggest pet-peeve while on a date?
- When another person, especially someone that you consider a friend, flirts with your date.
What is your biggest pet-peeve when hanging out with friends?
- NCC (Non-Committal Cuddle). I personally find it very distracting and irritating when someone gets physical with another person in a group, knowing full well that it won't develop into anything. It causes everyone in the group to feel uncomfortable and is inconsiderate of the other person's feelings (they may interpret it differently, even if you're doing it just for "fun")
Dating Ideas (indoor)
1. Cook a meal together
2. Go to a museum, concert, etc
3. Volunteer to babysit/visit a nursing home/perform acts of service together
Dating Ideas (outdoor)
1. Stargazing with hot chocolate
2. Walk through the park together, and end up at a picnic basket that you've set up
3. Dress up as tourists and ask people to take pictures of the two of you around town together
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