So relating to some dreams I've had lately and some of my girl-related worries (girls are nothing but trouble, hardy-har-har) I asked one of my best friends for some advice. Bless her heart, she had so many things to do but there she was, knocking on my room door and listening to my scatterbrained-ness and listened. It was good to just throw everything out there, even though I'm pretty sure it didn't make sense. When she left, we circled the wagons in our living room and talked about a few things (not just me, mind you) and I heard some really good counsel from my roommates regarding all of that.
Lesson 1: Don't take counsel from your fears. This refers to allowing uncertainty and worry to paralyze you from taking action, which leads to the "I'll just wait for things to happen on their own" attitude. This particular phrase makes even more sense in light of the dreams I've had in the last month (if you're really wondering what the dream(s) was/were, just catch me on campus and I'll fill you in), but it all just comes down to not assuming a worst-case scenario just because I worry it might happen. I'm always the one telling people "it's not as bad as you might think", and it's about time I took my own advice.
Lesson 2: Depression can be an addicting behavior. This one shouldn't have come as a surprise to me- I remember giving someone advice about how they use their sadness as a safety blanket to protect them from engaging in relationships, but it was put into terms I had never heard before, and I think this applies to all people. I've talked to MANY people since this blog started and a common thread in a lot of those comments and conversations were about how these individuals were afraid of getting into a relationship (or taking any risks) because they were scared of all the "what if"s. I have said it time and again- everything worthwhile in life requires risk, but along with the first lesson, every time you shy away from being a man (or woman) of action, it's because you're afraid of leaving your comfort zone. It's easier to stay scared and not do anything about a guy or girl you've got your eye on, simply because you "know the routine" and you feel like you have a greater amount of control over your emotions instead of taking a chance with someone.
Wise words from a fellow brotha.
Lesson 3: No regrets. Of course, I already know this. I try to live by this too, and I think many people do as well. It's one thing wanting to believe and act that way, and actually dialing her phone number, walking up to a girl's door and knocking, getting the guts to tell that person how you feel, sending them that text message, etc. The list can go on. Uncertainty is the ultimate killer simply because those "what if"s consume you and you spend all your time thinking about your anxieties, as if you can defeat or kill them by thinking about them enough. It's only when you are totally sincere, open and honest that you feel that peace of conscience of knowing that you did all you can. Ignoring the problem-or people- doesn't make anything better, and it only leaves you resentful because you didn't accomplish anything.
At the end of the day, you can point fingers all you want to blame others, circumstances, or even God for things that happen--or don't happen-- but if you notice, any time you point one finger, you have four others pointing right back at you. No excuses, no regrets.
These are things I was reminded of by my roommates, my fellow brethren on the Council. Sometimes we all need that kind of a kick in the pants to quit sitting on our hands and get to work, and that's what it did for me. Hopefully I answered some of the questions I have gotten this past week by posting this, and I am confident that others can take courage from what I learned.
So therefore, Happy Hunting!
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